


Billy is Postmodernism

by lalejandra



Category: lotrips
Genre: Gen, Postmodernism, Super Mario Brothers, Transformative Works Welcome, very drunk characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-08-28
Updated: 2004-08-28
Packaged: 2019-07-14 10:14:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16038368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalejandra/pseuds/lalejandra
Summary: Having green eyes doesn't make you postmodern





	Billy is Postmodernism

"Billy Billy Billy!" chanted Hannah. Dom and Elijah joined in. "Billy! Billy! BILL-LEE! BILL-LEE!"

Billy stood up and bowed and sat back down.

"If that comes up again," declared Elijah, "we're gonna take a vote on it."

Hannah giggled, and Dom sighed, and leaned over, and rested his head in her lap. "I wish Viggo was here," he said, his voice a bit muffled from her skirt.

"We all wish Viggo was here," replied Hannah.

"I don't wish Viggo was here, that stupid mean asshole mean idiot," grumbled Elijah.

"You're just mad because he's not sleeping with you," said Hannah, and laughed. She was right and she knew she was right, but it was also kind of gross. Billy didn't say anything, just swigged from his beer and watched Elijah pet Dom's biggest toe.

Hannah sipped her drink through a straw that made three circles and had a funny zig-zag curve at the top. Dom had made it for her - the drink and the straw - and wouldn't tell her how. She didn't care about the straw so much, but the drink was dark pink and tasted like peppermint licorice, which was strange to say the least.

It also made her realize that she had no feet.

"I have no feet," she said.

"I HAVE NO FEET!" bellowed Elijah.

"I have feet," said Billy mournfully.

"You have feet because you are what we like to call 'postmodern'," replied Hannah. She took another sip of her drink and stuck her legs out in front of her. Her skirt came down to right below her knees and was very soft. Then she had patterned socks, stripes that went around and around and around. Then she had pink shoes. But no feet. "I still have no feet."

"You're completely insane," said Dom, and started to laugh. He rolled off the couch and landed on the floor on his stomach and stayed there without moving.

"What did he _have_?" asked Billy.

"Same as me," said Hannah, and hefted her pink drink. She squinted at Dom, who had shucked all his clothes the minute he walked through the door, and spent the rest of the night in his boxers, which were dark blue with a picture of Wolverine on the ass.

She was pretty sure they actually belonged to Elijah.

"Ponce," scoffed Billy, and nudged Dom's ribs with his toe.

Elijah grabbed Billy's ankle and tugged until Billy was sitting next to him. "C'mere, Bills," said Elijah, and handed Billy a controller. "You be Ms Pacman."

"Sure," said Billy, "except you're playing Super Mario."

"You be Luigi," said Hannah. "He's green. Green is the color of postmodernism."

"How's that?" asked Billy, but he took the controller and let Elijah start the game.

Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo.

Hannah hummed the song along with the Nintendo. Elijah was slow, and clumsy, and he was going to die soon. Poor Mario.

"Well," said Hannah. "Your eyes are green. You're postmodern. Therefore green is the color of postmodernism."

"Just because I am postmodern -"

"AHHH!" screamed Elijah when Mario jumped cheerfully into a hole. "I died! This is your fault! Why do you always talk when it's my turn?"

Hannah leaned over and slapped the back of Elijah's head, overbalanced, and ended up on top of Dom, who was snoring a little. Her drink ended up on top of Dom too, but there was just enough left to sip up.

Now Dom smelled of peppermint and licorice instead of sweaty boy. She stayed on top of him, and made her tummy rest in the small of his back, and put her face into his neck and hair. He was damp from sweat, and had hairy legs. She turned, and watched Billy.

Billy stared at the screen, frowning a little, jumping on the goombas, collecting coins, and finally he said, "Having green eyes doesn't make you postmodern."

"YOU ARE POST MODERNISM!" yelled Elijah, and he grabbed the controller away from Billy. "NOW SHUT UP!"

  



End file.
